At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you win again, gameday.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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