STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
