He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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