grandma shit on top of the toilet
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
