It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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