i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
