we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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