It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
