his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
