Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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