Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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