We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
This is my life. Enjoy the view
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
