My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
