Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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