i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
literally had 100 drinks last night.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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