Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
