i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am midnight drunk by noon
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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