he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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