Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
