Don't you send me to vm
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
