Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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