Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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