Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
