You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
