thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
