That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
