I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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