if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize