Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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