I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Vodka?
Forever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
