yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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