So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
And then my night got REAL pukey
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
