I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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