i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
