Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
