you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
