I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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