At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
