jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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