So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
