Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
