I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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