so explain again why im purple
no
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
