Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
you never un-have a 4some
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize