need another drink. this is the easiest way
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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