I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
