I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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