i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
