So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
