She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
