During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize