I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the day after is always just damage control
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
