quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize