five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
