I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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