New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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