but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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