He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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