would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Everything about him screamed your future.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
