Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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