he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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