You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
