Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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