i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
