How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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