im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
