Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
