are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
