I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
