i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
