If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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