so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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