you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sext me about skeletons
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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