he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
