"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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