so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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