I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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