Kiss
Puke
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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